Lianne Dalziel’s life with Rob Davidson: The rough diamond who caught her eye and captured her heart

Wednesday would have been Lianne Dalziel and Rob Davidson’s twentieth wedding ceremony anniversary. In an unique interview, the town’s mayor talks about saying goodbye to her ‘soulmate’ and concerning the life they led. Louis Day stories.

“The factor is, Rob needed to fall asleep and never get up and that’s what occurred.

“It’s not one thing we speak about as a neighborhood, however supporting somebody once they have a terminal sickness, the very best factor to do is perceive what they need to do.

“I didn’t need it to occur however I needed it to be as simple for him as attainable.”

Three months on from his passing, Dalziel remains to be adjusting to life with out her Rob. Wednesday would have marked their 20-year wedding ceremony anniversary the place they deliberate to have a celebration on the Nice Corridor, the identical website the place their love for one another was consecrated in marriage.

“It is rather unhappy. We each had needed to deliver individuals collectively, individuals who celebrated the marriage 20 years in the past.”

Davidson, a outstanding lawyer and man who devoted a variety of his time and vitality into neighborhood causes, was Dalziel’s “soulmate”.

“We type of simply knew one another, he wasn’t good and I am actually not. However we understood one another, we did not really want to clarify something to one another as a result of we simply knew. We favored the identical issues, favored the identical motion pictures, we had been fascinated with American politics. So yeah, I have not obtained anybody to speak to anymore, not like him, that is what’s onerous.”

Whereas lacking out on the chance to mark her 20-year anniversary with Davidson is a bitter capsule to swallow, additionally it is the little issues for Dalziel that sadly function a reminder of what she has misplaced.

She fights again tears when she recollects a current instance of this when she was within the course of of shopping for an annual go for Christchurch’s inner-city tram service.

When informed a go would solely value $69, she was baffled.

“I mentioned to them: ‘Is that every one?’

“I believed it was about double that after which I instantly realised I used to be shopping for for 2 and never for one.

“That to me, that type of sums up, you recognize, what it is like. I labored out what it was for 2 as a result of I’ve all the time purchased for 2. So in a approach that’s the reply to the query you requested about life now in comparison with life earlier than, little issues like that remind me of what I’ve misplaced.”

Whereas Dalziel is consistently confronted with reminders of Davidson, she finds solace within the pounamu pendant which hangs round her neck. Its eye-catching look doesn’t start to scratch the floor of the story behind its being.

The fish-hook formed pendant was initially given to Davidson as a birthday present from Dalziel’s household. She didn’t count on to see it once more after she selected it for Davidson to put on in his casket.

“She [the funeral director] mentioned she had by no means ever seen this earlier than but it surely has come again in a single piece. This can be a piece of pounamu that has been by way of the fireplace [cremation] with Rob, so now I’ve obtained a bit of him with me.

“She [the funeral director] mentioned they’ve seen damaged items earlier than, however they’ve by no means ever seen it [pounamu] come out intact. Now it has come again to me, in order that was particular, I really feel like I’ve obtained him with me.”

One other tribute to their all-enduring bond will be discovered not removed from the pendant hung round Dalziel’s neck. In what was her first, and might be her final tattoo, two butterflies are depicted on her again, representing the protagonists in Chinese language love opera, Butterfly Lovers, the Chinese language equal of Romeo and Juliet.

“The message is that he has all the time obtained my again and that is how I really feel.”

The tattoo not solely holds nice magnitude as a present from Davidson given to Dalziel solely weeks earlier than his loss of life but in addition in its tribute to Chinese language tradition, one thing which he held very near his coronary heart.

Davidson additionally boasted a variety of tattoos from his youth, Dalziel “did not like them in any respect”. Dalziel’s disliking of Davidson’s tattoos from his youth was one of many causes he in the long run obtained them lined with Asian tattoos. Dalziel now describes her personal tattoo as her “fixed companion”, conserving Davidson shut and their tales intertwined.

Their story started in 1995. Dalziel, who was a member of Parliament on the time, had been invited to talk on the Engineers’ Union about MMP forward of the next 12 months’s referendum on the matter.

After making her presentation, she took questions from the viewers. One man caught her eye.

“There was one man that requested extra questions than anybody else and I believed gosh he asks a variety of questions. He was actually engaged and so I actually observed him.”

Her first impressions of the person was that he was “fairly good wanting.” That man was Davidson.

“Some individuals, they may smile however you’ll be able to inform they’re not likely smiling as a result of their eyes do not smile. However he was any individual that smiled along with his eyes as nicely.”

Despite preliminary points of interest, the pair each had their doubts something may ever come to occur between them.

“Pinky Agnew who was our wedding ceremony celebrant just a few years later when she was reflecting on our assembly, she mentioned that I believed he was most likely married and he thought I used to be most likely up myself as a result of I used to be a politician. Luckily for us, neither of us was proper!”

Dalziel recollects their wedding ceremony as if it have been yesterday. A smile spreads throughout her face when she recounts Davidson’s speech.

“Rob posed a collection of explanation why he may be marrying me. After all of the completely different causes he may conjure up, he introduced it was none of those, the explanation he was marrying me was part 5 of the Proof Act 1908: No partner will be compelled to provide proof for the prosecution [of their spouse] within the courtroom of regulation. He can be free to come back residence and unburden himself with how he had been rushing on his motorcycle safe within the information that I couldn’t be compelled to provide proof towards him. ‘You are the lawmaker, I am the lawbreaker. You make ’em’, I break ’em’.”

Dalziel described her relationship with Davidson’s bikes as “love, hate” with one trip on one in every of his many bikes nearly bringing their marriage to an early finish, she joked.

She wanted a carry as much as Picton the place she and Davidson can be beginning a highway journey across the South Island with their pals.

“The women have been going within the automobile and the boys have been happening their bikes. That meant I needed to get from Christchurch to Picton so I may get into the automobile and the one approach was to go on the again of the motorcycle.

“He knew that I used to be actually actually nervous so all the best way as much as Cheviot, it was nice, he was superb, it was a very light trip, I felt that he had actually understood that I used to be nervous, I did not really feel nervous in any respect anymore, I used to be leaning with the bike, it wasn’t going too quick, it was nice.

“So we stopped at Cheviot to have a cup of espresso on the best way and I mentioned to him: ‘I simply need to say thanks, you have got been superb, you have got actually revered how fearful I’m on the again of a motorbike, so I simply actually need to say I actually respect it.’

“Now, he heard one thing else, he heard me say: ‘yeah, I am comfy now you’ll be able to go for it.’ So all the best way from Cheviot to Kaikoura I used to be understanding how I used to be going to kill him and divorce him! He could not hear me punching him and screaming, it was horrible, I’m positive he did it intentionally. By the point we obtained there, I used to be in a little bit of a temper.”

Whereas this expertise left Dalziel in a little bit of a state on the time, she is now in a position to look again on it in laughter. A plethora of treasured reminiscences like this one have been cast between the pair.

She speaks fondly of the primary time they’d been abroad collectively.

“We went to Paris, I had by no means been to Paris earlier than and he hadn’t both. We simply walked in all places.

“We walked down the Champs Elysees, we climbed up the Arc de Triomphe, climbed up the Eiffel Tower, it was simply superb.

“It was simply magic and that could be a very glad reminiscence.”

Scotland is one other place that holds that means to them each. They visited Dundee within the mid-90s the place Davidson’s father was from.

They unknowingly made their closing journey there as a pair final 12 months.

“He discovered his grandfather’s grave final 12 months and so he purchased the plot and stuck the headstone as a result of the gravestone had been pushed over, so he had all of it mounted and had his father’s particulars recorded there as nicely.”

The household plans to return to the location in the future to bury a few of Davidson’s ashes there.

Davidson was discovering an increasing number of out about his origins all through his closing chapter.

“I want we had longer,” Dalziel says.

“He already searched his Scottish historical past so he met up with some cousins he hadn’t met earlier than in Scotland final 12 months so he managed to hint that connection. However one factor he by no means had searched was his start mom’s historical past, his father was his [biological] father so he knew who his father was, his mom he had not searched her historical past. So he did a DNA check and found he had Ngai Tahu connection, his great-grandfather was Ngai Tahu.

“So we had a really shifting gathering at Tuahiwi the place that historical past was acknowledged. I might have favored him to have a little bit of time to analysis extra of that.

“He had began to find the Maori facet, there’s extra to that story that his sons are discovering out which suggests the story continues however it will have been good if he may have shared that. He would have actually loved attending to know that facet of him.

“Rob grew up pondering he was first-generation New Zealander however truly he had generations on his mom’s facet he did not know.”

Davidson’s perception he was a first-generation New Zealander was why he felt so related to new immigrants.

“He had plenty of shut pals that have been completely different cultures.”

He had a selected affinity to Chinese language tradition, adoring Chinese language meals and visiting the nation two to a few occasions a 12 months, resulting in him forming some sturdy bonds throughout the neighborhood.

A good friend of his from China, who owned a center faculty inside a disadvantaged space of the Guizhou area sponsored Iris Luo, a pupil from the college, to go to New Zealand and get a level in regulation.

Davidson gave her part-time work at his regulation agency Davidson Authorized Ltd to assist her by way of her research.

Luo was admitted to the bar just lately, making her the primary particular person in her village to own a college diploma. She paid tribute to Davidson after doing so.

“One other superb man I want to thank is Mr Rob Davidson, the founding father of Davidson Authorized Ltd. There have been 1000’s of occasions that I needed to surrender throughout the years in regulation faculty, it was his encouragement and assist that led me to stroll by way of the darkish and stand right here at present, sadly, we misplaced him on this powerful 12 months however I’m positive he can hear us from the heavens,” she mentioned.

Different current tributes embody one from a choose, who made reference to Davidson when studying an affidavit that was filed by him throughout a courtroom case. The choose referred to Davidson as a “tremendous lawyer” and “exceptional human being”.

Davidson was dedicated to serving to individuals out, particularly the place he felt there was injustice, Dalziel says.

“It is why he did a lot professional bono work as a lawyer. He all the time felt that individuals needs to be given a chance to succeed.”

She says this was all the way down to Davidson himself being given the chance to succeed.

A chunk from the Weekend Press printed 20 years in the past titled Coming Out of the Darkish paints a really vivid image of Davidson’s life.

He was born after his father had an affair with a 17-year-old lady, a ward of the state who was residing with Davidson’s grandmother. Davidson was secretly adopted again into his father’s household the place he was raised by his father’s spouse, believing she was his mom. Discovering he was adopted in a while in life “rocked his grownup world”.

Within the piece, Davidson mentioned he believed his father’s spouse resented him, which might have contributed to what was a troubled upbringing inside a working-class household, with beatings not solely at residence but in addition at college and by the hands of the police – nothing out of the extraordinary for the Nineteen Fifties.

Over a interval of three years earlier than 1970 he was convicted of disorderly behaviour, housebreaking, willful injury, breach of probation and insulting language.

However as Dalziel explains, he was given the chance to fulfil his true potential.

“There have been 10 positions at Canterbury regulation faculty on the College of Canterbury for those that have been educationally deprived that had the potential to provide again to their neighborhood.

“He was a practice driver, that was his full-time job, however he additionally represented the locomotive engineers’ union affiliation. Due to his energetic curiosity in the neighborhood and illustration, he was seen as somebody that would give again to his neighborhood which he has performed in spades clearly so he was given preferential entry into regulation faculty.

“That is no imply achievement to go to college and get a regulation diploma. He began his diploma when he turned 32, having left faculty at 15 and he has now obtained a profitable regulation apply, so it’s an unbelievable achievement.

“I’m positive one of many proudest moments of his life was being admitted as a barrister and solicitor of the Excessive Court docket regardless of his troubled begin.”

Davidson went on to pour his coronary heart into a variety of causes. He acted as chairman of the Aranui Group Belief from its inception in 2001 which has labored for improved neighborhood outcomes for nearly 20 years now, supporting the development of the Aranui Wainoni Group Centre.

“He had come from Woolston, he had felt very a lot at residence in Aranui.

“I do know he felt an unbelievable sense of accomplishment and I really feel it too, I’m so happy with what they have been in a position to do. He did not do it on his personal and he by no means took it as one thing he had performed on his personal, it was all the time one thing he had performed with the neighborhood.”

Davidson’s work in Aranui is just the tip of the iceberg.

His dedication to the Police Managers’ Guild Belief as its lawyer and confidant for 25 years led to it establishing a scholarship in his identify upon his loss of life, he was additionally just lately made a life member of the Labour Social gathering. Davidson additionally served 25 years as a board member and durations as chairman, on the Salisbury Avenue Basis which goals to rehabilitate and re-integrate critical offenders into society. Different acts of service included serving on the board of neighborhood well being centre Piki Te Ora and the Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Belief.

Davidson had an “insatiable curiosity in individuals”.

“He would discuss to individuals in a very deep approach the place he would get to know all about their background. So if we went visiting wherever the place we did not know anybody it would not take him lengthy to strike up a dialog with somebody. He would know all about them in a really quick area of time.”

He additionally possessed a singular model of humour which left him with a behavior of not taking authority too severely.

Dalziel struggles to include her laughter when sharing a narrative about Davidson from his practice driving days, one of many tales informed by Davidson’s shut good friend Dave Stanford at his funeral.

Upon the arrival of a gaggle of high-ranking officers from Wellington at a railway station Davidson was working at, he determined to have a bit enjoyable. He discovered the largest canine he may get his fingers on, put it within the driver’s cabin of the practice, obtained the practice working and lay down on the ground so when the practice drove previous the delegates, it seemed prefer it was being pushed by a big canine.

Davidson maintained this sense of humour all through his closing chapter.

“He was nonetheless the identical Rob. He had a terrific sense of humour, he would simply joke concerning the medication he was on.”

The couple got the information of Davidson’s analysis solely weeks after attending the Most cancers Society Ball in 2018.

“It was simply an enormous shock, he appeared invincible actually, most likely due to his motorcycle driving and rushing. He appeared to have 9 lives, nicely greater than 9 lives. He did come off his motorcycle greater than as soon as within the time we have been married, I will not go into particulars, however he walked away from each of them.”

This information had initially delayed her determination to run in final 12 months’s native physique elections, however attributable to Davidson responding nicely to therapy she determined to face for the mayoralty a 3rd time within the December of 2018.

Nevertheless, Davidson started to cease responding so nicely to therapy in June 2019.

This got here proper within the lead as much as that 12 months’s native physique elections in October. Dalziel was in the long run comfortably re-elected for her third time period as mayor however Davidson’s response to therapy continued to wane.

“He did go on one other drug but it surely was not profitable in any respect. We have been simply ready for him to go on a trial for an additional drug and he was going to go in for that after which the lockdown occurred and so they cancelled the trial, however then they opened it up once more and by then he was not nicely sufficient to go on the trial.

“I want we had obtained him on it sooner, I do not know whether or not it will make a distinction or not, I do not know, you’ll be able to’t inform.

“He had an aggressive most cancers proper from the beginning, it was a high-grade most cancers. However I feel we each had been inspired by the optimistic response initially that we thought we had so much longer than we did.

“I felt like we have been going to have just a few years forward of us however issues change.”