The 50 Most Metal Characters From The Simpsons — Kerrang!

The Simpsons is the best tv present ever made. It’s not even up for debate – nothing comes shut. Does The Sopranos have a blackboard gag and a settee gag firstly of each episode? Does The Wire have “Do It For Her”, probably the most heartbreakingly lovely second in leisure historical past?

There are extra steel exhibits on the market – Game Of Thrones was all dragons and swords, Vikings is all hammers and swords, and swords are extraordinarily steel – however no higher ones, and over the three a long time it’s been on the air, The Simpsons has introduced some fairly steel characters. Is 50 too many to take a look at? Let’s discover out!

Bear in mind when Skinner’s backstory modified, and he was revealed to be Armin Tamzarian? That was like when a band’s present line-up re-record all their basic stuff in order to chop their former colleagues out of some bucks right here and there.

Frank Grimes, or “Grimey” as he appreciated to be known as, taught us {that a} man can overcome adversity. Effectively, he didn’t actually, he died, however he taught us {that a} actually offended, tightly-wound man can at some point explode. He’s just about the protagonist of Iron Maiden’s track Man On The Edge. In reality, each character and track had been impressed by the Michael Douglas movie Falling Down, which additionally impressed Foo Fighters’ Stroll video.

The one-armed proprietor of Herman’s Army Antiques shares varied traits with steel legends. He has the identical quantity of limbs as Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen, who famously misplaced an arm in a automobile crash and stored on drumming. He smokes like a chimney, similar to far too many rock stars do. And he’s a proud member of the Springfield Insectivorian Society, which isn’t 1,000,000 miles away from Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants.

He’s simply so fucking cool, you know?

Professor Frink as soon as developed the eight-month-after tablet. There’s a Slovakian grindcore band which might be fairly into that.

Whether or not consuming a skunk, shedding a toe or having dozens of kids along with his spouse/cousin/sister, Cletus is actually a person of extremes.

In 1993, when the episode Marge In Chains (fairly steel title) was broadcast, tattoos had been method out of the mainstream. Tattoo Annie, a prisoner who sports activities daggers, sick tribals and a again piece impressed by Mad Journal’s fold-ins, was method forward of her time.

Whereas from a really non secular background, Jessica Lovejoy spreads mayhem wherever she goes. Alice Cooper, the septuagenarian Godfather of shock rock, comes from a equally non secular household and nonetheless pretends to be guillotined onstage.

Because the Navy recruiter and pop mogul chargeable for Occasion Posse and Yvan Eht Nioj, L.T. Smash doesn’t appear very steel. However the Navy combines a number of issues which might be Fairly Steel (boats, the ocean, weaponry, historic battles), and a full-chest battleship tattoo is actually up there.

If Beavis and Butt-Head have taught the world something, it’s that youngsters in burger eating places make the best music journalists ever.

Dressing like a vampire and making unhealthy almost-puns about breasts are each pretty steel traits.

Shirtless and sporting a bone in his hair, you might completely see Sideshow Mel fronting a not-great native pagan steel band that don’t fairly get to open for Finntroll.

Can I Borrow A Feeling? isn’t precisely a hard-rockin’ observe, but it surely’s simple sufficient to think about Kirk Van Houten (fairly steel surname btw) channelling that rage right into a City & Colour or Dashboard Confessional sort of furious acoustic emo act.

Barney has an important singing voice however an unlucky lack of self-control, like so many casualties of the rock star way of life. A who’s-who of steel royalty have needed to stop ingesting on account of merely doing it too damned a lot. Liking one thing a lot that you just’re medically forbidden from doing it anymore? That sucks!

Managing to be concurrently a youngster and the guardian of a youngster, Kearney must be all that’s steel, combining the paternal want for traditional rock with the teenage thirst for rebel. Possibly. Dunno. It’s only a concept at this stage, and that is the form of research it’s actually laborious to get funding for.

The very nature of twins is form of steel (Sherri and Terri can be at 56 and 57 if this listing had been longer). Add gravelly voices, chain-smoking, pet lizards and intense misanthropy and, yeah, not unhealthy.

Don’t write in, however the way in which crowds in every single place Nick Riviera goes know to reply to “Hello everyone!” with “Hello Dr. Nick!” is the very same factor as when Iron Maiden audiences sing the primary minute-and-a-half of Worry Of The Darkish.

Getting the shit kicked out at you at a Spinal Faucet present on the age of 10? Nails.

The one characters outdoors the Simpson household to look in each Treehouse Of Horror episode, Kang and Kodos are extraterrestrial Lovecraftian beasts hailing from the planet Rigel 7. Whereas Lovecraft himself was an actual piece of shit, his affect on steel – each instantly and by way of his affect on horror on the whole – is huge. Kang and Kodos are the form of issues Rob Zombie counts when attempting to nod off. Steel as fuck.

what you don’t see lots of? Beer-free steel festivals. Duffman has been portrayed by a number of totally different folks throughout the world of The Simpsons, kind of like when Van Halen stored altering frontmen.

The ocean has at all times fascinated musicians, inspiring works like Mastodon’s Leviathan and Iron Maiden’s Rime Of The Historic Mariner, in addition to a subgenre of pirate steel containing bands like Alestorm and Ye Banished Privateers. Sporting two glass eyes and signing his identify with a drawing of a ship smashing into a large whale’s head, the Sea Captain at one level refers to Homer as a “remorseless consuming machine”, which feels like a wonderful ’90s thrash album.

Bumblebee Man has a factor and sticks to it. You possibly can say the identical about Ozzy. Plus, “Ozzy” sounds just like the noise a bumblebee makes. That’s simply science.

As an actor, chef and martial arts trainer, Akira is one thing of a polymath. Given what number of actors find yourself beginning bands (Jared Leto, Taylor Momsen, Jack Black et al), how into meals lots of them get (Trivium’s Matt Heafy is aware of rather a lot about meals) and what number of of them get into martial arts (David Lee Roth, Dave Mustaine, Glenn Danzig, Zoltan Bathory, Maynard James Keenan, Matt Heafy once more), plus fencer/pilot/historian Bruce Dickinson’s function because the world’s favorite polymath, Akira shares sufficient traits with hella steel dudes for a stable mid-table rating.

Incessantly drunk, disgruntled and simmering with contempt for the folks round her, it appears like Mrs Krabappel is wasted in schooling and must be in some kind of super-aggro grindcore act.

Marge spends lots of her time growling. Like, far more time than most human beings spend growling. Most adults can go for months and months, even years, with out growling, however two varieties of folks do it incessantly: steel vocalists and Marge Simpson.

Lives in a volcano, is extraordinarily unhinged: steel.

Sideshow Bob has lots of traits which might be extraordinarily steel: a deep baritone voice, everlasting shirtlessness, homicidal tendencies and the identical hairdo as Shane Embury from Napalm Death.

If Shawn Crahan has taught the world something, it’s that clowns are sheer steel. They’re made from hilarium.

Moe has a face scary sufficient to make kids cry, which is what lots of steel bands got down to do. Whereas loads of his life is spent at dwelling alone ogling the ladies in the Sears catalogue, he’s additionally carried out with Aerosmith, which isn’t to be sniffed at.

Possessing a Mortiis-adjacent nostril and a coronary heart that doesn’t beat, Mr Burns is effectively into his second century, incessantly speaks like a Victorian and has leprosy. He has pals who’re skeletons, as soon as caught the Loch Ness Monster and is a member of each the Flying Hellfish and the League Of Evil. He has monkey guards, frequently-released hounds and a vest made out of gorilla. Dude’s like a strolling idea album.

Have a look at how hench Rainier Wolfcastle is. Hencher than Zakk Wylde. Hencher than Doyle. Virtually as hench as Till Lindemann, and with a not-entirely-dissimilar accent. Swap his monumental polo shirts for a bunch of leather-based straps and a flamethrower and so they’re two muscular peas in an industrial steel pod.

Some folks assume leather-based is probably the most steel form of jacket, but it surely isn’t, it’s denim with the sleeves lower off, so there.

The best way he says “par-tay” within the Lollapalooza episode is a low level, and “underachiever and pleased with it, man” isn’t the perspective that introduced the world shredding, however he’s nonetheless Bart Simpson. He generally pairs shorts with a leather-based jacket – an especially Bloodstock look – plus just about has the identical hairdo as Spider One from Powerman 5000.

Proprietor of Springfield’s most emo haircut, Dolph sports activities the pretty glorious full identify Dolphin Starbeam, which sounds just like the jokey side-project a super-serious band kinds to open for themselves.

Politically engaged, fiercely clever and extremely musically proficient, it’s solely Lisa’s determination to play the saxophone – an instrument that, whereas actually made from steel, solely sometimes exhibits up throughout the style – that stops her from being System Of A Down. Additionally, relying on the way you interpret her character design, she might need hair like Chester Bennington had in Linkin Park’s One Step Nearer video.

Q: If Jebediah Springfield had been alive at present, would he be a member of Red Fang?

A. Sure
B. Sure

He’s ever so offended, is Nelson. Offended, violent, denim-clad and infrequently seen in lengthy trousers. He’s the prepubescent model of the man that drunkenly will get into the improper tent at Obtain then will get actually shitty about it.

Each sort of leisure has its personal Comedian Ebook Man; hyper-critical self-appointed style police. There’s an upside to it, the wonderful nerdery of effortlessly reeling off obscure sub-labels’ total again catalogues, but it surely additionally generally manifests as an “all the pieces new is shit” perspective. Worst. Angle. Ever.

Two issues the world of steel loves: beards and secret societies. A thick-bearded senior member of the Stonecutters? Extraordinarily steel. That’s a paddlin’.

A very good-looking insurgent who performs by his personal guidelines, clad in a cranium shirt and carrying a wooly hat all yr spherical? That’ll do it.

Cats are steel: they’ve acquired fangs, claws, black fur and so they don’t give a shit. Abernathy’s more-is-more perspective to cat possession: steel. Abernathy’s covered-in-piss way of life: steel.

Bald with a little bit of facial hair is a glance sported by lots of big-deal steel dudes: Kerry King, Rob Halford, Scott Ian and numerous others. Homer has some musical pedigree, having after all been the lead singer of a grunge band (Sadgasm) and a member of a Beatles-like barbershop quartet (The Be Sharps), and toured with Lollapalooza. He’s extraordinarily snug harnessing rage, similar to his frequent choking out of his son, and as patriarch of 742 Evergreen Terrace. Plus, as an unheralded cog in a faceless machine at Springfield Nuclear Plant, he certainly understands the sentiments of powerlessness and suburban ennui which might be so incessantly channeled into steel. Additionally he drinks lots of beer!

Even with out the existence of Okilly Dokilly, Ned Flanders can be fairly steel. Christian steel, positive, however steel. Demise appears to encompass him wherever he goes, for example. As proprietor of the Leftorium, he’s Springfield’s most sinister resident (to a Latin speaker, anyway). He’s ripped as hell, and certainly one of his youngsters has a Butthole Surfers shirt.

Carl ticks lots of steel bins. He was in Sadgasm, has been a member of no less than one cult and grew up in Scandinavia, some of the steel areas on Earth.

She shot a billionaire and has a monobrowed nemesis – badass. She can also’t communicate coherently and falls over rather a lot, each of which additionally utilized to Mötley Crüe for 15 years or so.

Groundskeeper Willie has a darkish previous, full of the form of tales that lend themselves to brooding homicide ballads. He claims each to have died in a mining accident (“No-one made it oot alive, not even Willie!”) and seen his father hanged for stealing a pig. He additionally could or is probably not the infamous Aberdeen Strangler, and/or have killed a Springfield Elementary pupil with a rake for having a sassy mooth. His most steel credential, although: when he’s absolutely greased up, he seems to be like he’s stepped (or somewhat, slithered) off the quilt of a Manowar album. Dude is ripped.

Regardless of dwelling a tough sufficient way of life {that a} urine pattern he as soon as gave contained crack, smack, uppers, downers, outers, inners, horse tranquillisers, cow paralysers, blue bombers, inexperienced goofers, yellow submarines and LSD Mach 3, Springfield’s largest metalhead makes his dwelling as a bus driver. An enormous fan of Metallica, Poison, Zeppelin and Sabbath, he’s a musician in his personal proper, in a position to play the guitar (and, at a renaissance honest, the lute) each left-and right-handed.

Hans Moleman? Extra like Hella Metalman. He’s given Metallica a raise in his truck, positive, which is pretty steel, and his strolling stick incorporates a hid blade. However Moleman’s means to stay on the border between life and loss of life, returning commonly from the hereafter to proceed his lifetime of torment, decade after decade of everlasting agonising ache? That’s fucking unimaginable.