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Julien Baker’s teenage obsessions: ‘I had Leonardo DiCaprio’s hair. I was a mess’ | Indie

February 26, 2021
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The place I grew up within the Memphis suburbs was not the epitome of cool, so I didn’t know what else to be besides a goth child. Once I was 13, I wore plenty of security pins in my clothes. Now, the best way I kind friendships and meet folks is so totally different, however then I’d simply get residence from college and stroll across the neighbourhood, discovering different youngsters outdoors. We’d go behind the storm drain and smoke cigarettes, cover from our dad and mom and set stuff on hearth. It was Tennessee! There wasn’t loads to do.

My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy had been the titans of that music scene. Then I obtained into AFI, the primary band I heard screaming. I didn’t have a cool older brother, so I wasn’t listening to Black Flag or bands with cred. I obtained my new music from the VH1 Top 20 Countdown, which I watched religiously each Sunday. I’d sit by the Natasha Bedingfields or Bubbly by Colbie Caillat, cross my fingers and hope that American Fool by Inexperienced Day can be on. As soon as I obtained my iPod, communication with my dad and mom was over.

‘I’d cross my fingers and hope it got here on’ … American Fool by Inexperienced Day.

Waffle Home

Within the US, Waffle Homes are as ubiquitous as Wetherspoons within the UK. It’s a series breakfast home that’s open all hours of the night time. I beloved it, as a result of I used to be too younger to drive, we couldn’t get into bars and none of us drank espresso, so the Waffle Home was a impartial place the place our dad and mom weren’t round. We’d simply hang around and drink Dr Pepper. I ate so badly. We couldn’t afford to go to correct eating places, however Waffle Home would tolerate youngsters and it was actually low-cost – we may get eggs for 99 cents and make them final for hours. The place else had been we gonna go? The mall?

The skate park

Everybody known as it Spom: skate park of Memphis. It’s closed down now. The story was that this child obtained his thumb ripped off and sued them, then obtained a tattoo on his thumbless hand that mentioned “10K”. I don’t know if that story is true, however in my teenagers I begged my dad to take me each weekend.

Bands performed there: seven bands a day for like 5 bucks, pop-punk and metalcore. I’d simply sit there and watch bands. I used to be by no means any good at skating. In my social circle, youngsters that had been super-good at skating had been OK at music and vice versa. I picked music. The youngsters on the skate park would make enjoyable of me, ’trigger I may solely do one trick, however I’d do it 12 or 13 occasions in a row and so they known as it “Baker’s dozen”.

My trick was known as the “intercourse change”, which you’d most likely identify “gender reassignment surgical procedure” now. Principally, you hop the board to face the wrong way, then flip it round to the course you had been initially going. I may additionally come up on the facet of the bowl and slide again down, however that was it.

Christian hardcore

Once I got here out, there weren’t a ton of different homosexual folks round. It was exhausting, as a result of I used to be a homosexual 16-year-old lady and the locations in Memphis the place a queer neighborhood would convene had been homosexual bars, which I couldn’t get into. The one place I may meet different queer or weirdo individuals who shared my fairly progressive political opinions was at reside exhibits.

When my mum gave me her previous Honda Accord, I began driving round listening to music to get out of the home and be alone. Then I obtained in a horrible accident. A road pole fell on the automobile, which crumpled up lengthwise round it, like a bun. Amazingly, I wasn’t injured.

‘Utter chaos’ … Neglect by the Chariot.

I pivoted into Christian hardcore, bands similar to mewithoutYou or Starflyer 59 that performed [the now defunct Christian music festival] Cornerstone or had been on a 2005 compilation known as You Can’t Handle The Tooth. Within the south, the church was omnipresent. I beloved the band the Chariot, who had been barely Christian metalcore. They had been utter chaos: actually heavy and aggressive. They had been insane reside, this man throwing his guitar method up within the air, youngsters diving off rafters.

Being in a hardcore band earlier than I used to be a solo musician, I modelled my stage presence on that and will but do once more. I don’t know if I’d throw my guitar within the air, although; I prefer it how it’s. As a feminine musician amongst a whole lot of dudes, I wished to play scales and wished my gear to sound good, but it surely was interesting to listen to somebody making simply … noise.

The Star Killers

As soon as I obtained residence from college, I used to be like: “Screw homework.” I began a band known as the Star Killers with my good friend Matthew [Gilliam, who played drums]. We’d practise each night time after college and on a weekend we performed exhibits. My lyrics needed to do with God, however I wouldn’t name us a Christian band. A good friend fronted us the cash to place out a double-length LP: 4 sides of vinyl [300 copies were made]. We paid for the CDs ourselves.

‘It was so happy with our LP that I cried’ … Vampiretown by the Star Killers, Baker’s first band.

Releasing a document with my associates was the most effective factor I’d ever accomplished. I used to be so happy with it that I cried. I used to be writing these lyrics aged 16 and I believed it was actually deep stuff. The lyrics had been actually unhappy and I’d half sing, half scream. The night time of our document launch present, I used to be feeling the lyrics so unhealthy. Everybody within the viewers was somebody I knew, perhaps 100 folks, all my associates from college. We had been youngsters with no cash who labored silly jobs within the meals trade to maintain this band going. The document was known as American Blues. People can track it down, however they should know this: it’s horrible. It feels like 16-year-olds made it.

My mohawk

Once I was 17, I had a good friend who was within the cosmetology [beauty] programme at highschool. She would come over, I’d convey a eating room chair out to the entrance yard and he or she would reduce my hair. Once more, actually trashy, but it surely’s who I used to be. She’d buzz the edges off and I’d give her a pack of cigarettes. My mohawk was vibrant pink, however would by no means keep up. I imagined myself having porcupine spikes, but it surely was at all times this wild quiff. I regarded like Duckie from the film Fairly in Pink.

Once I obtained to school, I made a decision to let it develop out, but it surely took a 12 months to get it like it’s now. I spent months in that horrible awkward in-between section, like younger Leonardo DiCaprio hair, parted within the center. It was soooo unhealthy. I used to be a multitude in school.

Julien Baker’s album Little Oblivions is launched on 26 February on Matador



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