Ryan Durie, a 20-year-old junior marine biology main at Stony Brook College, died by suicide in his suite on the Southampton campus on Feb. 24.
Upon certainly one of his suitemates discovering Durie in his room within the afternoon, the Suffolk County Police had been notified and dispatched to the campus.
An open-casket funeral service was held in Holbrook, Lengthy Island, on Feb. 28. Durie’s household and mates gathered to share sentiments and fond recollections of how they remembered him.
Durie’s father, Eric Durie, stated he and his household needed to show the service right into a celebration of the impression that Durie had on everybody’s life.
“We requested his mates from all areas of his life to come back up and share recollections of his life,” Eric stated. “The quantity of happiness and pleasure that went on over an hour is one thing that we’ll all the time keep in mind.”
The brightness and heat that could possibly be felt radiating from each attendee on the service was one thing that Eric believes his son would have appreciated.
Funeral bills had been aided by a GoFundMe created by Kayla Brandon, a household buddy who has recognized the Duries for over 5 years. Brandon is an assistant supervisor of Amigos Mexican Cantina and was Durie’s supervisor whereas he labored on the restaurant. She created the GoFundMe as a token of her appreciation for him as each a employee and a buddy. The web page was created on Feb. 25 and reached the $20,000 objective inside every week.
“The entire names including up tugged at our heartstrings,” Brandon stated. “Seeing them confirmed simply how beloved Ryan was by his group. It was great for everybody to have the ability to come collectively.”
Offering the biggest donation of $1,000 was Milana Pla, Durie’s girlfriend and a pre-med neuroscience junior who attended Stony Brook College till Fall 2020, earlier than she transferred to the College of Delaware.
Pla recalled the nostalgic moments that she and Durie shared, like their first assembly in Fall 2019 by means of the Peer Assisted Studying program (PAL), as he tutored her basically chemistry. She additionally recalled a spontaneous street journey that very same fall, which went on for hours as they traveled all the way in which from Stony Brook to New Paltz for a particular model of espresso.
“Lengthy Island doesn’t serve Stewart’s espresso,” Pla stated. “We went to Wallkill, New Paltz at 2 a.m. and didn’t get there till 5 a.m. We acquired again to Stony Brook at 9 a.m. and nonetheless ended up attending our 10 a.m. lessons.”
Regardless of their exhaustion afterwards, Pla stated the time spent collectively was properly price it.
As a method to honor Durie’s reminiscence, Pla determined to get a tattoo of a leopard stingray on her collarbone. Pla defined that the inspiration for the design was derived from Durie’s ardour for marine wildlife. Final December, the 2 went onto the World Wildlife Fund web page and donated as much as $100 for 4 completely different endangered wildlife species, together with the leopard stingray.
Pla was not the one one Durie impacted. In the same tribute of remembrance, Matthew Lauer, a junior environmental research main, additionally acquired a tattoo in honor of Durie. The tattoo exhibits a cascading wave accompanied by the Little Dipper constellation, with Durie’s initials on the facet wrapped round by double-edged arrows.
“The wave was meant to signify the ocean as a result of that introduced us collectively since we had been on the Southampton campus,” Lauer stated. “The little dipper, he beloved it and would all the time speak about it, at any time when we went on a late-night stroll, he would all the time search for it.”
Lauer had solely recognized Durie for one month and stated that the 2 of them rapidly turned inseparable by means of their mutual pursuits in teachers. Lauer stated that he has not had a rapidly fortified relationship in such a short while span with anybody else earlier than.
Lauer was additionally the final to see Durie whereas he was nonetheless alive. He recalled Durie’s ultimate phrases to him: “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Very similar to the double-edged arrows in his tattoo, meant to signify the circle of life, Lauer stated he’s certain that someday he and Durie will “see one another once more.”
Alex Azar, a sophomore environmental science main, used artwork to point out what Durie meant to her. She created a pencil portrait of Durie that she gifted to his mom after he died.
Durie’s character was not solely evident in his social and private life, however in his tutorial life as properly.
“Ryan did close to good in grading classes … He was a great contributor and interacted properly along with his classmates. He was joyful to speak to individuals outdoors of his self-discipline,” Jonathan Anzalone, a professor who teaches information literacy at Stony Brook, stated.
Durie took Anzalone’s information literacy class through the Fall 2019 semester and was in his recitation as properly. Anzalone stated Durie was all the time “a optimistic presence” in recitation as a result of he was more than pleased to take part at school group work.
College students within the class additionally famous his optimistic presence. In keeping with his friends, he was recognized for making dialog within the hallway and interesting in deep discussions with classmates earlier than class began. He would discuss to any scholar, no matter background or main, just because he needed to get to know them higher.
“We took information literacy collectively, and whereas I wasn’t near him, he would all the time greet me like a buddy,” Daniel Lee, a former Stony Brook scholar stated.
Durie used his marine science background to assist college students with basic chemistry as a instructing assistant and as a tutor for the PAL program by means of the Educational Success and Tutoring Heart (ASTC) at Stony Brook.
“He had such a optimistic and upbeat perspective that made it look like he genuinely cared about how properly we did,” Jafar Ahmad, a sophomore psychology main, stated. “He consistently reassured us and instructed us we’re smarter than we expect. At no level did he make anybody really feel dangerous about asking a query or going over something.”
Ahmad took basic chemistry when Durie was a instructing assistant for that class and had nothing however optimistic recollections of Durie.
“He wouldn’t care when you got here late,” he stated. “He was simply joyful that you just got here in any respect.”
Two of Durie’s passions outdoors of educational work included soccer and cooking. Durie’s mom, Jodi Durie, says he was significantly gifted with an unbelievable capacity for the latter.
“We might prepare dinner collectively, and we’d try to work out a recipe,” Jodi stated. “And he would all the time say, ‘Preserve tasting it, you bought it, you recognize, simply preserve tasting it, and then you definitely’ll know whether or not it’s good or not,’ or he would speak about how refreshing cooking was.”
“He actually beloved meals, even those most individuals hated. He cooked a ton and experimented as a lot as he might. It’s one thing he took plenty of pleasure in,” Joseph Bansgopaul, a junior well being science main, stated.
Durie’s mom additionally remembered her son’s inquisitive nature. She stated he beloved to have deeper discussions about numerous ambiguous subjects, comparable to spirituality and faith. When it got here to conversations about beliefs, Durie puzzled why one would imagine what they do. She stated that she personally realized by means of him that it was by no means sufficient for one to imagine one thing with out justification.
“He cared about everybody and all the pieces from family and friends to the setting,” Azar stated. “I actually need him to understand how necessary he was to our buddy group and me; he had such an exquisite soul.”
Durie had a optimistic impression on the numerous who met him, in each tutorial and social settings. His love of studying and dedication to serving to others was evident in his on a regular basis actions and thru his shut family and friends’s shared sentiments.
“He all the time tried to discover a method to be joyful and expressive,” Aidan Durie, Ryan’s youthful brother stated. “All I do know is that it meant lots to all people simply to be there [at the funeral].”
He will likely be deeply missed by his household and mates.
Please name the Nationwide Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 when you or somebody you recognize is scuffling with suicidal ideas or tendencies. The NSPH supplies free and confidential emotional help 24 hours a day, 7 days every week.
