I was young, dumb and got a tattoo of my ex’s name. My current guy can’t seem to get over it.

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Expensive Wayne and Wanda,

Please assist settle a debate between me and my important different. Years in the past, in my early 20s, I bought the title of a boyfriend tattooed on my arm. It was a dumb choice on a Mexico trip. We stopped hanging out not lengthy after and regardless that I see him round nonetheless, I wouldn’t even name him a pal. We’re well mannered after we run into one another, and now and again he’ll jokingly ask in regards to the tattoo and we chortle it off with a fist bump.

This was not my first tattoo and is considered one of many tattoos I’ve. My present important different hates tattoos basically, and I do know he’s not a fan of my ink. However he particularly hates the title tattoo. The primary time we frolicked, he zeroed in on it. He had one million questions on my ex. He had a tough time believing I used to be over him. He mentioned if I actually was, I might have gotten the tattoo eliminated.

Tattoos are costly to take away, and time-consuming, and admittedly it’s by no means mattered to me sufficient. To me, this explicit tattoo represents youth, my inexperience on the time, and it’s a great reminder of the place I’ve been — that’s it. However my boyfriend gained’t let it go. I’ve recommended recently we get extra critical, perhaps transfer in collectively, and he significantly retains coming again round to that tattoo and saying till I “take care of it” he has a tough time taking us significantly.

Wanda says:

Regardless of being more and more mainstream and extra broadly accepted, tattoos can nonetheless be so divisive. On one hand, the individuals who have them typically love them, and carry them as symbols stuffed with that means, reminiscences and artistry. Individuals who don’t like or perceive them may even see them as unattractive, poorly thought-out, or as hard-to-erase errors that one will certainly remorse in time.

Being an inked-up individual whose love curiosity is tat-free, it’s possible you’ll face an uphill climb aesthetically, if tattoos are one thing your companion finds significantly unattractive. That mentioned, you’re in a selected pickle with the inked title of an ex in full show. This goes past somebody merely not liking your physique artwork. Your present individual most likely sees this tattoo as an affront, a continuing reminder of others you’ve been with, and a logo of somebody you as soon as had been — somebody youthful and probably slightly extra wild, not precisely the model of your self that he’s presently interested in.

Getting a tattoo eliminated is a big deal, however should you’re critical about discovering some sort of compromise, why not contemplate a cover-up? A superb tattoo artist can assess your present design and provide all types of artistic recommendations for layering extra ink on prime of it, so your ex’s title is reworked into one thing cool and distinctive — and fewer offensive to any love pursuits shifting ahead. Added bonus: you continue to understand it’s there and whereas the tattoo retains its that means, it additionally displays your evolution.

Wayne says:

What occurs in Mexico stays in … properly, it could possibly keep in or in your physique for days, weeks, months, years and even the remainder of your life. And that’s livin’ la vida loca, child!

To start with, you two aren’t debating. This can be a potential dealbreaker in your relationship or no less than for getting critical along with your boyfriend. Maintain the tattoo. Take away it. Cowl it up. If he hasn’t gotten previous the tattoo by now, he’s most likely at all times going to have a hang-up when he sees it. I’m attempting to understand his “There’s at all times one thing there to remind me” perspective — the dedication ink job is a fairly apparent indicator that you just had been tattoo-crazy in love with somebody as soon as and, relying on the place that tat is situated, your ex probably spent lots of time at that spot. Then once more, you all needs to be affordable adults now and notice that all of us have tales, journeys and pasts that led us to the place we’re, and who we’re with, right this moment. You definitely are comfy with and perceive that, which is nice; the massive difficulty right here is getting your boyfriend to that house.

I might like to know if that is the one sticking level in your relationship for him otherwise you. I’d additionally marvel if he obsesses over different issues about you, your life, your previous, your quirks or the rest. These solutions may reveal crimson flags for a tough relationship highway forward. You certain you need to take that experience?

However should you do need to transfer in with him and also you’re prepared to make a sacrifice to make that occur, meet him midway and simply cowl up the tat. Hopefully your ex’s title is well transformed to “Carpe Diem!” or “No regrets!” or may be lined by a Child Shark or one thing enjoyable and becoming like that.